I posted a few months back about our unexpected move to North Carolina and the initial disappointment it brought. With time, we grew to accept that the move was coming so we did what all resilient military families do....we pulled ourselves up by our "boot straps" and headed East. We left California with sadness about the goodbyes and changes coming, but hopeful that God's plan would surely bring about something even better.
So we went through Christmas and New Year's living out of suitcases and began our exploration in the beautiful South with hope and and expectation. We have time after time tried our best to "look on the bright side." But can I be honest to say that we are disappointed. The schools are not as good and our kids are not as motivated. The churches we have visited feel superficial while growing wide but not biblically deep. The weather is gray and rainy. We have faced physical ailments and illnesses. We are still waiting to officially move in and have been living out of suitcases that were packed for three weeks and it's now been two and half months. And to top it off, we have a ten month deployment on the near horizon.
I write all this not as a tale of woe because believe me, I know it pales in comparison to the struggles that there could be. However, it has been discouraging. We believed there was something better waiting for us. We hoped and prayed and had peace in His plan. And now this? So there is a natural tendency to question God and wonder what God was/is doing. I often want to ask "why did we have to move?" and we confess that conversation has occurred.
But then truth resurfaces and we remember "our ways are not His ways"(Isaiah 55:8). He is God and and sees into the future with all His goodness and mercy that our human limitations don't allow (phew). I also know that my "better" and His "better" are not the same. And I am reminded that I am not alone in my moments of questioning. In the bible in the book of Matthew chapter 11, John the Baptist . . . THE John the Baptist, came to a similar place of wondering. In Matthew chapter 4 John had the privilege to baptize Jesus and witness the Holy Spirit come upon Jesus and declare that Jesus was God's beloved son in whom He was well pleased. Then 7 chapters later, John is in prison and sends a message to ask Jesus "are you the Coming One or do we look for another?" In essence, he was asking, "are you sure you're the Messiah, the King we've been waiting for because you aren't doing what I thought you would? I'm in jail which I'm pretty sure shouldn't be part of this new kingdom thing." Jesus sends a message back telling John of ALL He is doing in hopes to remind John that He IS in fact fulfilling the prophesies of the Old Testament.
So why did John the Baptist die in prison? I don't know. Why did we have to move? I don't know. Why do hardships come when it feels like we are in a "good" place? I don't know that either. But I DO know without a doubt that God is good and has always been good and always will be good. I know that He loves our family, He loved John the Baptist, and He loves you. That doesn't mean that suffering and hardship are removed. When I pray that His will be done, I am in essence saying that it's no longer about my comfort or my contentment but I lay that down to be close to the Father. This is not easy and goes against all my tendencies towards self-preservation. However when I do, I find peace and rest. I see His hand at work and trust that He is good.
