He went before us

My husband Tommy and I have recently returned from visiting Monterrey, Mexico where we have been sponsoring two young ladies for the past three years with Back2Back Ministries.  This ministry works with various children's homes in the area of Monterrey (and other locations worldwide) to meet their physical, emotional, spiritual, educational, and social needs.  With each visit we have made, our love continues to deepen for the people who live and serve with this organization.

When Tommy and I went on our first mission trip together three years ago where we met these sweet girls that we sponsor, I must confess with great transparency that we were in a difficult place in our marriage.  We were disconnected and discontent.  As people prayed for our trip, for protection and divine interactions, I confided to my closest sisters in Christ that I needed a miracle for our marriage.  And praise to the Father in heaven who hears and cares - HE answered.  I would like to share the beautiful weaving of moments that bring us to our most recent trip.

This is an excerpt from the blog I posted from 2012 about the day I fell in love with one of the girls we sponsor:

"As I spoke with one girl about school and her hopes for the future, she volunteered some of the painful events of her history that brought her to a children's home.  She cried and so did I.  Her heart was breaking for at least the thousandth time I'm sure and I held her in my arms as the tears flowed.  I felt honored to be the one to comfort her but leaving that day was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I got on the bus and fell into Tommy's arms saying 'I don't want to leave her.'"

What I didn't share from that trip was the evening after I met this girl (we will call her Faith), we attended a worship service.  Like usual, there was some distance between Tommy and I, but I could feel a softening taking place in our hearts.  The song "How He Loves Us" by David Crowder was played and something miraculous happened.  I could tangibly feel our hearts connect and by the power of the Holy Spirit, our marriage was restored.  It is undoubtedly one of the most powerful moments of the Holy Spirit moving that I have ever experienced.  I can testify that our marriage has never been the same.  God heard and answered.

Through the years we have stayed faithful to "not leaving" the girls we met on that trip.  We support them through daily prayers, monthly financial giving, and trips to Monterrey as often as we are able.

Fast forward to our most recent visit.  We were there this time to celebrate the 15th birthday of the other girl we sponsor (we will call her Julie - and I'll have to write about the details of our time with her in another blog).  On our first evening at the Back2Back campus, we were attending a similar worship service like the one I described from 2012.  There were SO many distractions: exhaustion from our night of traveling, sound system problems, torrential thunder storms (the worship service was under a pavilion so the rain blowing in and lightning around us was a little hard to ignore).  I was ready to call it a night but I decided to stick it out a little while longer.

Would you like to guess what song they played? . . . Yes, "How He Loves Us"!!! Tommy and I held hands and tears feel and I immediately recalled that similar moment three years ago.  I could see what God had done in us and through us over that time.

And if that was not enough - God did something even greater (as HE often does).  My precious Faith walks up to Tommy and I while that song was playing and gives me roses!!! She gave us a card which she made by tracing her own hands and wrote us a note of gratitude.  We stood there with Faith between us in a close embrace as tears flowed while giving praise to the Lord.  God whispered to me "you didn't leave." The three of us took communion together and reflected on His goodness and our undeserved favor.

The theme of that trip in 2012 when we met Faith and Julie was taken from Colossians 1:17 which says "He is before all things and in Him, all things hold together."  I recognized the truth of those words on that trip and how He truly went before us at that time and was holding us together.  What I failed to recognize was that He keeps doing that again and again.  He went before us to 2015 and held us together, now with Faith and Julie.  And He continues to do it today, tomorrow, and for all eternity.

In the words of the executive director of Back2Back Ministries, Beth Guckenberger, Jesus is our great "Storyweaver." He weaves a beautiful story through Him, by Him, and for Him into our lives.  He does it for the orphan.  He does it for the widow.  He does it for the abandoned.  He does it for Faith and Julie.  He does it for me.  He does it for you.

Good Enough

Have you ever had a hair in your food?  Eewww! So gross, right?  Or worn a stunning outfit to a special event only to spill something on the front right as the evening begins.  Or gotten a scratch on a brand new car.  I can remember going to THE fanciest restaurant ever on my 21st birthday.  One where you have to wait two months for a reservation, even on a Tuesday evening at 5 pm.  I was so impressed when they had one server for each plate they brought out so all the plates could hit the table at the same exact moment.  As fancy as everything was, one of my clearest memories of the night was when my entree was placed in front of me, my eye was immediately drawn to an ant crawling around the edge of the plate.  I couldn't believe it!  I honestly don't remember what I ordered  or how it tasted but I won't forget that little ant.

As human beings we have an eye for imperfections.  When you turn in a rental car, they don't care how much of the car is not scratched.  They thoroughly inspect what scratches ARE there.  Or when you tell your kids to clean their room, you aren't too impressed with the five toys that made it into the correct bin but you're more concerned with 30 still scattered around the room.  I often wonder why people think their security for eternity will be any different.  Most people who believe in heaven would agree it's going to be awesome.  There won't be pain or sadness or suffering or humidity or black widow spiders.  We will be at peace and have all we need with no concept of lack.  Perfect. Completely perfect!

But we are not perfect.  I always find it interesting when asking someone about how to get to heaven and their response is, "I try to be a good person."  I have bad news friends.  No one is good.  Not one.  Just like the ant at the 5 star restaurant or the stain on the outfit or the scratch in the car, the minute we miss the mark of "good," we are imperfect.  When we yell at our parents or lust after someone or have thoughts of malice, we demonstrate those imperfections.  Paul recounts teachings from the Old Testament that say, "There is none righteous, no, not one; There is none who understands; . . .  There is none who does good, no, not one" (Romans 3:10-12, NKJV).  He goes on to say, "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of the God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus." (Romans 3:23-24, NKJV).

That is our only hope: Jesus Christ.  He was the blameless sacrifice for our filth and imperfections, big and small.  "For there is one God and one Mediator between God and men, the Man Christ Jesus, who gave Himself a ransom for all" (1 Timothy 2:5-6a, NKJV).  Before the crucifixion of Jesus, the only way to become "right" with the Lord was through sacrificing animals as a way to literally pay for sins.  This lead to a lot of self-righteousenss and an all-consuming diligence to obeying the Law (the list of rules, rights, wrongs, and how to stay in God's favor).  It gave favor to the wealthy and the educated.  Jesus came to fulfill the Law through Himself being the ultimate sacrifice.  This has freed us from all the doing and allows us to live by His Holy Spirit through extending grace and mercy, without partiality.

For my dear friends who believe in Jesus Christ as their Redeemer and Savior, this is not new information.  Maybe just a good reminder of the awesome gift He has given us.  For my dear friends who don't believe that Jesus is their Redeemer and Savior, you are the audience I have in mind as I write these words.  How do you know you are "good enough" to enter the heavenly paradise for eternity?  Who determines that you are "good?"  How can your imperfections be allowed into a perfect place?  These are valid questions and that will one day demand an answer, either on this side of eternity or the other.

Our Portion

It's been about a year since we moved to California and what a great year it's been.  Our lease was up and we were starting to contemplate buying a house since we are pretty sure we will be here at least four more years.  The schools are amazing and we love the area.  In addition, my husband and I enjoy watching HGTV and fixing things up and we often dream of working together to restore a house into OUR home.  However, a few years ago I felt the Lord speak to me with absolute clarity that for our family, that would not be in our near future (maybe one day but not anytime soon).  I knew the Lord was calling us to be available to go wherever He sends us in His timing.  For some reason my selfishness has been getting in the way lately and I can't help but want something a little more permanent.  

Over the past few weeks I have been reading through the Bible and am currently in the book of Numbers.  Not one of the most popular books of the Bible and there are many times I find myself skimming over hard to pronounce names and not being able to connect with the way of life described.  However I still ask the Lord to speak to because His Word is alive and able to move regardless of the "entertainment" value.  As I was reading in Numbers 18, the duties of the priests and the Levites were being described (again, not an edge-of-your-seat passage).  I was learning how there were people called to something different than the rest of the tribes.  At the end of chapter 18, the Lord speaks to Aaron and says "You shall have no inheritance in their land, nor shall you have any portion among them. I am your portion and your inheritance among the children of Israel."

I immediately knew this was a word for me at a time I really needed it.  I get caught up in earthly comforts and worldly desires.  I know my preferences for home decorating sometimes more than I know God's preferences for my life.  I tend to be an organized person and can clearly tell anyone where something is or belongs in each room of my house.  But when it comes to knowing the Lord that intimately, I often lack.  Not only did the Lord tell Aaron that he wouldn't have an inheritance or a portion but He also said "I AM your portion AND your inheritance."  Whatever God calls us away from, He desires to take that place and be enough.  I realize with greater certainty that He desires to be my portion. To sustain me.  To fill me. And for me know Him.  I know the house thing might seem silly or not a big deal but it's what gets the attention that is meant for the Lord.  What is it that God might be calling you away from?  It could actually be a good thing but not "your" thing.  How will He be your portion and your inheritance?

Our Measuring Stick

Twitter.  Facebook. Google+. Voxer.  Youtube.  Oh social media . . . What have you done to us? We are living in a generation that is so consumed with putting out there every area of our life from what we ate for breakfast to how long we ran to who we saw in Starbucks to what craft our kids made.  Although there is some benefit from that feeling of connectedness to others, it can definitely create a constant need to see where we measure up.  For example, if you take a group photo, who is the first person you look at when you see the picture?  Yourself.  So when we read about all the "great" things other people do, we can't help but reflect on ourself and see by subconsciously thinking things like "yeah, well I did that too" or "I wish I had that kind of time and money" or "I wish my kid could do that" or whatever other thoughts we internalize to compare someone else's life against our own.  The result is that we start to take that process of measuring up into other areas of our life. 

I see this being especially detrimental when we take it into our walk with the Lord.  We look at how someone else worships or how much of the Bible they know or how they serve and start to compare our own life against theirs to find out where we "rate." I used to feel such a sense of inadequacy as a Christian because I had never prayed the sinner's prayer with anyone.  I felt like since I never brought someone to the Lord, what good have I possibly done for the Kingdom of God?  Isn't that exactly what Satan wants us to think.  

I was recently talking with a dear Christian friend who definitely seeks the approval of others. She was noting how confident other people seem and was asking for prayer that she could have a "backbone" and speak with greater boldness without so much anxiety about about what others thought. I told her I wouldn't pray that for her (so rude, right?). What I believed she was failing to see was how God was using her gentle warm friendly spirit to welcome people who otherwise wouldn't know or talk to anyone. The reason why she might not tend to speak with conviction into someone's life is because God effectively uses her to be a place of safety and comfort, not for telling hard truths. I know this because she's done so for me. I wanted her to see her gift in the light of God's plan and not an earthly comparison. Instead I prayed for her that she would obey only the Holy Spirit to lead where He follows and regardless of what it looks like, she would be filled with a divine peace knowing her purpose, whether in boldness or quiet obedience.  And if she leaves a situation without speaking with boldness, that she could trust The Lord has equipped someone else to do so.  I pray the same for you: that you would use YOUR unique gifts and strengths to their fullest divine potential without any earthly measuring stick involved. 

Turning Wine into Water

I can't believe I went through all of 2013 without a single blog entry.  It was a crazy year with a lot of transition but one that God blessed beyond measure.  He clearly reveals so much wisdom to me through the power of the Holy Spirit but I confess that I keep most of it to myself because I don't want to put my thoughts "out there" and possibly offend someone.  However, through conversations with other believers, I realize the benefit in being transparent and trust the prodding at my heart is from God.  So I took the time to put into words which I know so many of us struggle with in Christian living.  

At the heart of the issue is the ways in which we, as Christians, create boundaries for others in an attempt to keep sin at bay but in doing so, we may be stifling the potential for Holy Spirit to convict and move and lead as He sees fit.  In particular I see this evident when it comes to the sensitive topic of Christians who drink . . . yes alcohol (hold your gasp).  This is a subject that I have prayed about, researched, and consulted with people seasoned in their walk with the Lord and I wanted to share what I've learned.  Before I go any further, I am not talking about getting drunk.  It clearly states that being drunk is wrong (Ephesians 5:18 "do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit").  I am talking about an occasional glass of wine with friends or a beer with dinner which I believe we cannot approach with a "one size fits all" mentality.

The easiest way to break it down is to respond to the arguments I have heard used to support why Christians shouldn't drink alcohol.  One of the most common things I hear is that "you don't know what someone struggles with and you wouldn't want to cause a brother to sin."  The verse often quoted is Matthew 18:8 "whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea."  I agree that consciously leading someone to sin is absolutely wrong and encouraging any kind of sinful behavior is an offense against God.  However to interpret this verse to mean we have to avoid something due to the POSSIBILITY that someone MIGHT sin, we are walking into very restrictive territory.  If this is our logic than we must also avoid inviting someone to a buffet or offering someone seconds at a meal because that person MIGHT struggle with gluttony.  It would mean not wearing anything that reveals skin between the ankle and the neck at the POSSIBILITY that someone struggles with lust.  Oh and don't talk about your recent purchases or shopping trips at the risk of tempting someone into greed or jealousy.  Do you see where I'm going?  There is no end to this way of thinking.  I will say that if you know someone struggles with a certain area of temptation or their painful past is revealed, then it is your responsibility to respond out of respect and love accordingly to the issue they share.  But this is not isolated to alcohol but any area including sex, food, idolatry, etc and that is when we rely on the wisdom of the Holy Spirit to give us discernment to handle these situations.  

Another common point made is that "drinking can damage your witness."  There may be some truth to this, especially in the context of church leadership.  I do feel that there are those that God calls to be set a part and this could include the area of consuming alcohol.  But we must be careful to establish policies and platforms that seem to encourage a superficial change for the sake of "what others think." This is the very thing that Jesus told the proud to avoid, "Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment" (John 7:24).  

I was recently reminded of the story in Matthew 15 when the scribes and Pharisees tried to call out the disciples of Jesus for not washing their hands before eating.  There was a tradition passed down from first-century Jews by their elders to wash their hands in a very specific manner before, during and after eating.   However this ritual was not a part of Old Testament law.  Jesus responds to the scribes and Pharisees by pointing out the ways they put tradition over Scripture and in verse 11 Jesus says "Hear and understand: Not what goes into the mouth defiles a man; but what comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man."  Christ came to free us from the law by the power of the Holy Spirit to convict and lead where He pleases.  But yet we continue to live in fear of what others think which in turn paralyzes our walk with the Lord. 

I just heard a statistic this past Sunday that after four years of becoming a Christian, the majority of Christians do not have friends outside of church.  Does this surprise anyone?  It doesn't surprise me because most Christians are too afraid of what their Christian friends think to associate with non-Christians.  What would people think if they saw a pastor coming out of a bar?  Well I don't know what other people would think but I would think "there's someone who knows how to reach the lost." Not in a state of drunkenness or sin, but confident in their faith and walking in the fruit of the Spirit to exercise self-control.  I've also heard that Christians avoid situations where alcohol may be present because of the risk of it being posted on social media and the judgements that may follow.  For me, that is a risk I'm willing to take and if judgements are passed about me based on assumptions then they will be passed regardless of the subject.  It could be on what I was wearing or who I was with or the expression on my face and if I buy into that fear, then I wouldn't go anywhere.

I absolutely believe that God calls some of us to live a life free of alcohol for the sake of His bigger purpose, the same way he calls some people to homeschool or to adopt or to have a large family or to the mission field.  These are all personal convictions between the individual and the Lord and not meant to be blanket directions for all Christians.  We can encourage others who might feel the same way or reveal the ways in which God directed us down a certain path but there should be no condemnation for those who don't make the same choice.  I know that there have been times when I have shared a glass of wine with friends that lead to great conversation and an open dialogue about faith and eternal issues.   I can think of several examples of when having a beer with friends ended with some eye-opening theological discussions.  I recently heard of a chaplain sharing cigars with men who sought his counsel in an effort to foster relationships.  It was his ability to step down into their world for a moment with the love of Jesus that those men shared their heart and felt a genuine connection.  People might call it "compromising" or "being of the world" but I see it as great confidence in the face of temptation or ridicule for the sake of building trusting relationships.  Maybe those conversations could have happened in a different manner but they didn't and God used those encounters in that setting at that time to fulfill a divine appointment.

I have repeatedly asked the Lord if I need to remove alcohol from my life and so far, the answer has been no.  I reflect on the fact that there would be no communion without wine.  It was the wine that was blessed at the passover feast that is referred to His blood shed for us.  It is the wine that came from water at the wedding celebration in Cana which Jesus first revealed His capability to do the impossible . . . and it wasn't just any wine, it was GOOD wine.  And yet so many Christians would rather He have turned wine into water to fit their personal platform.  

This is our family's truth because struggles with alcohol are not part of our past or our present situation.  Therefore we are able to make those decisions with discipline and control.  If this is you, then do so accordingly and if the Holy Spirit convicts otherwise, then obey.  But my prayer is that regardless of what you are convicted of, that you exercise caution and restraint before you pass judgement on others because it is in that prideful air of self-righteousness that we will ultimately fail to walk rightly with the Lord.

He is before all things

It's hard to know where to start in summing up the experience of my recent short-term missions trip.  I guess it begins last September when I went with my brother's church to join an organization called Back2Back Ministries and served for a few days in Monterrey, Mexico.  It was definitely an amazing week.  This same organization has other sites in Mexico as well as India, Nigeria and coming soon, Haiti.  I was definitely touched by my time in Mexico but felt a strong pull to visit their Nigeria site next.  Through a course of events, some gentle encouragement from family, and clear signs from the Lord, it was clear that I was supposed to return to Mexico.  The primary reason was that my brother, his wife, their 9 year old daughter, and my dad were all going.  I spoke to my husband Tommy about it and I asked him if we could go together.  It was unlikely that his schedule would be open during what is usually their busy summer season of teaching but the trip "happen" to land between courses.  This was the first of many indicators that God was directing us to Mexico.  We were blessed by the generosity of others in prayer and in financial contributions that there was no excuse not to go.

Don't get me wrong, we were still hesitant at times and doubting if this was the "right" thing to do but those moments were fleeting and His call was clear.  We knew early into to the trip (actually before we even arrived in Mexico) that our group was going to do great things because the Enemy had our number and was doing his best to bring us down.  We stood firm in prayer and fellowship and remained faithful in our mission to serve.  I am sure you can relate that when we persevere in the face of opposition and challenges, the blessings on the other side are that much sweeter.


Every summer Back2Back Ministries has a theme which surrounds the week for the groups coming to serve.  There is a devotional handed out and every day there is time set aside to spend time in the Word and reflecting on what the staff members from the different sites wrote about in the devotional.  In the past, there have been themes such as "hunger," "shelter," and "water."  It is clear how those things relate to a life in extreme poverty and also those ideas can be tied to what the Lord offers us through salvation.  You know . . . a nice catchy play on words so to speak.  The theme for this summer was from Col 1:17 "He is before all things and in Him all things hold together."  Initially it didn't seem to be as clear a connection to the life of the orphan or widow that we were serving but everyday those words became more true for me and for Tommy.  I find myself resting in that promise and I could see the ways it was true (or becoming true) in the lives of those we met.  It was a blessing to read through the ways that God has been faithful to the staff members as well as the people in our group as we talked through that truth.  

Now this is part when I'm supposed to write what we did or what happened while we were there and I find myself searching for the words that will convey the shift that occured in our hearts. I am at a loss.  I feel as if every fiber of my soul has been woven tighter and with a greater passion for the things of heaven.  I guess for the sake of keeping you in the loop I will highlight a few of the moments that are etched in my mind for eternity:

1.  Attending a church served at one of Casa Hogar Manatial de Amor (this is one of the children's homes that Back2Back serves).  They asked the children to come up to the front and then had the members of our group lay hands on them and pray for them.  I felt the Holy Spirit fall on me and I started to pray in English for one of the teenage girls.  Then I started to remember some words in Spanish and I prayed those words and we both started to cry.  This is the first of many indescribable moments.

2.  Hearing another girl share some of her past that brought her to the children's home.  We are encouraged to ask the children about their present and their future but not their past.  As I spoke with one girl about her present, she volunteered some of the painful events of her history.  She cried and again, so did I.  Her heart was breaking for at least the thousandth time I'm sure and I held her in my arms as the tears flowed.  I felt honored to be the one to comfort her but leaving that day was one of the hardest things I have ever done.  I got on the bus and fell into Tommy's arms saying "I don't want to leave her."  That day was probably when the greatest shift happened in my heart.

3.  Seeing boys and girls hang on Tommy as they jumped rope, swam in the pool, or played games.  Children of all ages, both boys and girls, seemed to be so comfortable with him.  At one point he was holding twin 3 year old girls as he jumped rope.  Another time, he had about 6 kids hanging on him in the pool.  He played cards with a boy on his lap.  He knew hardly an Spanish but they were so comfortable with him because of his kindness and gentleness and I was found myself admiring him more than ever.  Everyday I learned the unique ways that Tommy serves and together, we make a great team.

As I'm sure you could guess, this doesn't capture even a fraction of what happened during that week.  I hope to continue to reveal the wondrous ways God is shaping Tommy, myself and our family as a direct result of this awesome trip.  I know we will never be the same.  I know God has great plans for us and I know now more than ever that "He is before all things and in Him, all things hold together."

A Holy Pedicure

Several months ago I met a lady at a nail salon who has been on my heart ever since.  It is worth telling the story of our brief interaction because it is another beautiful example of God's divine presence when we take the time to connect with others.  I decided to get my nails done one Friday afternoon during a rare moment when I had some time to myself.  I went to a nail salon nearby and was helped by a quiet lady from Vietnam.  English was clearly her second language so our conversations were kept simple but her spirit was gentle and I immediately liked her.  We talked about family, what else she does for work, the weather . . . nothing too monumental.  I asked her about her necklace which was a beautiful piece of jade carved into a small Buddha outlined in gold.  She said her mother gave it to her after she had a recent string of bad luck.  Her mother told her to rub it  every day and say a prayer and Buddha would help her.  I asked her what kind of bad luck she had faced and she began to tell me how her family has faced recent financial hardship with her husband losing his job, her having a medical scare which resulted in a $20,000 hospital bill and no insurance, and her daughter struggling to get enough financial aid for college.  I asked her a simple question about rubbing her Buddha necklace, "is it working?"  Her reply with a disappointed frown was "I don't know."  We sat in a few moments of silence and I prayed quietly to myself that the Lord would bridge the gap of cultural and language differences and that He could fill me with the Holy Spirit to meet her in her struggle of faith.  


I hesitantly began to tell her that there is something that I have in my life that gives me peace and I can trust that I am loved and cared for even when life is hard.  She responded "Is it Jesus?"  I said yes and the conversation naturally flowed from there.  She asked me a few questions and I could see her deep in thought as I told her how I have seen His hand in my life and in the lives of others that could not be explained by anything else other than Jesus.  I saw her hesitation and I gently told her that God loves her and that I would honestly pray that her circumstances would change and that she would feel peace in her heart.  I changed the subject after that . . . I didn't want to put her on the spot or make her feel uncomfortable.  


I left that day not knowing her name but having a clear picture of the look of wonder, doubt and curiosity on her face and I continued to think about her on a daily basis.  I returned to get my nails done about a month later on a day when I thought she would be working.  She was there and started to do my nails again.  I wondered if she remembered me so asked her about her family and if she recalled us talking.  Her eyes lit up and she said she did.  Her next question was "did you pray for me?"  I told her I had and thought about her quite often.  She told me that after I met her the first day, she went home and her daughter had asked her for some paperwork to fill out some financial aid forms.  She went into a closet where she kept them and as she reached for what she needed, she saw a small booklet sticking out.  She told me it was a pamphlet about Jesus.  She was in shock!!  She had no idea how it got there.  She was sure that no one else had ever been in those papers or knew where they were.  She told me how she got goosebumps all over and was certain I was an angel and somehow got into her house to put it there.  She actually felt a little scared.  (I assured her I was not definitely not an angel and had never been in her house).  I told her that I didn't know how it had happened but I know God is great and He will do anything to get your attention and prove that He is real and that Jesus is truth.  She came to work the next day and told her coworkers about what had happened and they told her that she was crazy and they didn't remember me being even in the nail salon.  This only made her think that I wasn't really real and that she had imagined the whole thing.  


We talked some more and I answered her questions as best I could.  She also told me that in her family, they think if you believe in Jesus, you literally go insane and lose your mind.  I did my best to be compassionate to what she was facing as she sorted through all her doubts and questions and told her I would continue to pray for her.  I haven't seen her in a few months so I wonder what has transpired in her life. I rarely talk to complete strangers about Jesus and often make an excuse of why I shouldn't (this happens more times that I would like to admit).  This time I had good excuses for not bringing up the subject: she doesn't speak good English, we are from different cultures, I don't want to make her mad and then she'll mess up my nails . . . the list goes on.  But for whatever reason I decided to take the risk.  Not only did I get to be a part of spreading the truth about the Gospel, I also got to witness the power of the Holy Spirit in action to touch someone's heart when everything else says "this is not going to work out well."  In doing so, my faith grew stronger and I am able trust with greater confidence that God gives us just what we need at the times we need it.  There has never been a time when God has let me down, I just hesitate to give Him the opportunity to prove Himself faithful but when I do . . .  I am so glad I did.